Stayed home sick today so here are lots of quotes..* [Monday, April 18th, 2005] [ mood | sick..* ] [ music | ** I Can Read You Mind ** Avant ] no regrets. there's nothing to forget. all the pain was worth it. you learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.. never let someone go if you want to find out if what you have is really love, because they may think that you want to move on to something better and they wont try to come back... i have given up on looking for love... but I still have hope it will find me... sometimes I want to press fast-forward to see if you're worth it in the end. the times you remember the most are the times you laughed the hardest and the times you cried the longest. it breaks my heart to look in your eyes and not see my reflection anymore, but to see hers. you know he's going to be with someone else but deep inside theres a little part of you that likes to think he's hoping it's you.. after all is said and done, i still think you're amazing. i still cherish every moment i spent with you, every smile you brought to my face. i'll be forever thankful that someone like you was brought into my life, even if you had to be taken away too soon. see, you were my miracle. you were the fairy tale i got to live. i didn't lose him; I let him go. i didn't get over him; I moved on. when you truly love someone you never lose them or get over them. they will always mean something to you, so no matter how hard you try, if it was true love, you'll never forget them... getting over you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I don't think I could ever do it again .. i’ll always think of you and smile... saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do     You never realize how much you love someone until they're gone. You never realize that...yes...once their love surrounded you but now...what do you have? Memories. Why does love hurt so much, when it's supposed to be such a good thing? Why do we dwell on the past, when the future is what matters? It's something that...yeah...I guess it can't be helped but...maybe it's harder for you than it is for someone else. Faint smells of cologne...a song on the radio…a movie…or a single word…these are things that bring back those memories. But, you can't hide from these things...because...they're there and no matter how hard you try to, they'll always be there. Even when you have moved on to the future…and those things don't trigger the memories as much as before…they still do. You can't forget someone that you've loved...you may want to ... but you can't. Love cannot be forgotten... no matter how hard we try…and how much we think it'll ease the pain...it will always be there...forever. The love we shared was so magical and I could feel our souls become one as we hugged. Then I felt my heart cry out for you to stay. You walked away…and I walked away...and now we must wait for our destiny to bring us back together.     it's been a long time since the first times. the first time we met to the first time we kissed, to our first fight, our first goodbye, our first tears, to the last "I love you." people say you never realize what you have until you lose it. I just hoped so much it wouldn't be for a very long time but now I miss all those things I never really noticed, like how much I miss your hands holding mine and most of all, I miss your smile, no matter what was going wrong, all you had to do was give me that smile of yours and somehow I knew everything was going to be all right. I just keep wondering if I'm ever on your mind or if you ever miss my smile too. I wonder if you ever wake up in the middle of the night praying that I'll come back. I miss you so much. there's nothing I can say that would ever make you understand just what you mean to me. I want more than anything to see your smile again knowing it's for me.       I guess I should move on... but something keeps telling me not to... all my friends say I'm too good for you, that we have nothing in common, just to forget about you, cause you're not worth it.. and to just move on... it's easier said then done.. maybe it's cause I don't see you as the jerk they do... maybe it's because I look at all the good things in you, not the bad... maybe it's the little things you did for me that make me keep like you soo much... the phone calls from the simplest of two minutes to two hours... the sweet words you told me, and the time spent together, I wouldn't see you for the player you were, or how you treated me like nobody at times, not the jerk you were, or the one people made you out to be... I saw you for you, and nothing less... maybe we weren't that close... but i felt something... there was something special I saw in you... and I still see it, and that's what makes me fall for  you... even if you never fall for me back...   I think it might finally be time. time for me to keep walking, and not look back. maybe it wasn't our time to shine. I've decided that I cant wait forever for you to make up your mind. you had your entire world standing in front of you and you chose to look the other way. it hurts, I don't deny it. but in time, I'll be okay. you had so much potential to be more than you are now. yanno-- its not okay to hurt me. but me-- ill be ok. I deserve better, and I know that now. maybe you knew you couldn't give me that yet, so you set me free. we would've been so great. you wouldn't never wished for more than I could have ben. maybe someday you'll regret it. maybe someday you'll think it was the best decision you ever made. but maybe someday you'll see me walking, smiling, and happy, along side someone smiling because he has my heart. Maybe then you'll stop and realize what you're missing. someday, someone will thank you for letting me go ...I never thought I could give a part of me that I did. You took it, that's for sure. Well thanks for at least letting me realize I could love, because I started to question it. Oh, and thanks for also making me realize that I deserved to be loved, because I was starting to question that too. And it's great to know you're happy and better off without me. Good luck!.     you're the only thing that keeps me going. im sorry for whatever i did. please let us go back to what we were, when you were actually happy being with me. no one else compares to you. <3              I sent myself a dozen rosesZ        Right before the office closes                                      Just to make my friends green with envy                                                         Ever since I lost you                                                      All the crazy things I do       I didn't even know I had it in me     You don't do it on purpose ♥ but you make me S H A K E   & when he kissed me that night       I couldn't help but think,    "this is exactly what I want"   Her friends don’t understand her, shes a question without answers..    i miss how we used to hold each other on the couch watching movies, holding each other like we'd never let go, like we needed nothing else in the world but each other, but now i let go....and the one thing i needed in this world isn't mine anymore. it feels like my life is gonna dissolve into nothing, i have nothing without you...   Wait for the boy who pursues you, the one who always calls when he says he will, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the boy who will be your best friend. Wait for the boy who makes you smile like no other, and when he smiles you know he needs you. Wait for the boy who wants to show you off to the world... Why settle for less?   `i smile because when i cry it doesnt help when i cry' all it does is make people ask` ` me if Im okay, i would love nothing more than to punch these people. Im siittiing' `here crying, but yes i am perfectly happy i mean come on give me a break, ' ` obviously I’m not fine. Does it hurt you to know that we haven't spoke to eachother in days?  Does it hurt you to know we can't look at eachother without looking away? Does it hurt you to know that everything we had as friends is gone? Does it hurt? 'Cause it's hurting me... one of these days you`ll (r.e.a.l.i.z.e)      how  ii  was  the  -.o.n.e.-  for  you  `      how you - - - - »  threw it all a.w.a.y.      and  when  that  dayy  _  comes . . .*      i`ll smile, and tell you the same thinqS      you told me, that youR my *f.r.i.e.n.d.      and  thats  what  ii want  you  to bee      maybe if your lucky, you`ll open your      eyes and see how these words hurt      you`ll : : never : : say them again.   -x- SOMeTiMeS aLL You CaN Do iS WaLK aWaY -o- -o- HiDe YouR TeaRS N' PReTeND You'Re oKaY -x-   when yOu ask me hOw many times yOu brOke my heart ill lOok up tO the sky and say `cOunt the stars She puts on her make-up The same way she did yesterday Hoping everything's the same But everything has changed   We are ((pretty)) when we are faking I am such a *l i a r* when I smile   but we could end up broken hearted if we don't remember why this all started & if they try to tell you love fades with time tell them there's no such thing as time         upset? am i upset.. no - upset is when u wake up in the morning and ur favorite shirt has a big huge stain on it and u were goin to wear it that day or when someone pushes u into a pool when its the middle of october and ur in all clothes w/ a big huge coat and its freezing out.. so am i upset? no im not upset.. im more like crushed.. that the one time i thought someone cared for me i find out it was all i lie.. and that he tells me its because i deserve better   we get further and further away smile and wave aint got nothing to say ♥ rip my jeans / not my heart cause one false move ; & i`ll fall apart   The only thing worse than a broken heart is  knowing you’d give him another chance... I Swear 0n My Life That If I Could Take This Knife 0ut 0f My Back, I Would. But Between The Loss 0f Blood & The Trust I Had In You... I Don`t Think It`d Do Any Good.     Why is it that a girl can love a guy so strong, and the guy always loves the girl so wrong only be with someone who knows how lucky they are to have you<3 No one can tell anyone what love is; you will simply know it when you feel nothing else   the way you fit into my arms at night i'll remember that feeling for the rest of my life. Kiss me and you'll see stars Love me and I'll give them to you guys always make girls cry but. if a girl makes a guy cry she must really mean something to him -*   They say you shouldnt let your life revolve around your boyfriend.. But mine does it wasnt when we kissed that i knew i loved you but when we were laying there i was in your arms a    n    d            I            f    e    l    t            [[s    a    f    e]] Im not gonna worry about whats going to happen in the future, because nothing could be better than whats happening right now.   &    when i came in with    tears in my eyes you always knew whether to hold me      or let me be i dont know how you knew    but you did  &  it made my life so much easier     The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for. you  know you really love someone when you  don t hate them for b r e a k i n g       y o u r      h e a r t Our love is strengthened by knowing that although we could each survive on our own if we wanted to, we choose to be together.   -:-Love was a word I didn't believe-:- -:-Dreams were just a myth-:- -:-But my belief-:- -:-Of things changed-:- -:-The day that you found me-:-   never doubt that i love you ; i need you more than you know - i wish i could hold you 4ever and never let go . . you prove it more everyday that we were meant to be // believe me when i say - you are the one for me sometimes i wonder if lifes worth it ` then i look at you . . and   realize   * [ [ it   is ] ] *   READ POST (6)

Stayed home sick today so here are lots of quotes..* [Monday, April 18th, 2005] [ mood | sick..* ] [ music | ** Goin Crazy ** Natalie ] It’s amazing how one day someone can come into your life and suddenly you can't understand how you ever lived without them   I have a bad craving For the taste of your lips x3   During the day at random times, thoughts of you fill my mind ' and i picture that smile you gave me, and i swear that for one second .. x_____________i could barely breathe.   Have you ever watched Him leave Not wanting Him to go Then whispering to yourself _|God I Love Him|_ more than he'll EVER kno__<3   i keep -- » s i l e n t.  even  when i`m . screaminq inside. cause the thinqs   that  ||drive   me   crazy|| i have nO chOice .. but  tO  h i d e   your the  only one  that makes me draw stupid hearts in the margins all over my notebook                 <3     you're so afraid to continue what we have, you know somthing's there, you feel just as much as i do when you touch me, you like it just as much as i do when you kiss me, it's just you're pulling away now because you know that if you don't pull away soon, you might find yourself falling in love & i don't think you're prepared for that   |[ welcome to » broken hearted airways [ thanks for crashin & burnin with us today ]   So dont go worrying about me Its not like I think about you constantly So maybe I do but thats okay can i lay in your bed all day ? i`ll be your best kept secret & your biggest mistake Roll our film baby This is another one of our romantic scenes so act like you love me   she looks in her mirror every morning... when she gets home after school... and when she goes to bed... but ever time she feels the dissapointment .... that burning pain of being everything she never wanted to be...   As we sit together, I turn away... Afraid you'd see the tears that are about to form in my eyes.  You ask me if anything's wrong... I smile and giggle and tell you I'm fine... But, I can't stop thinking about how much I wished you were mine. Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself &  she'll cry her self to sleep agian... You don't seem to understand what you're doing to her... You had the power to make or break her..Now she is broken..   These bandages cover more than scrapes, cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes. I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything. From that moment on a friendship did start you kissed away my tears and sheltered my heart She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight   I wish I could drive away to the sunset Back to the day that we first met Only believe the things I wrote I'll put it in a note I'll Cross my t's and dot my i's Better say hello, Don't you dare say goodbye I'll write sincerely yours and sign my name P.S. I love you, forever and today i'm not as dumb as you think i am, i've learned a thing or two. i don't care about nothing at all, but i think the world of you.   Ask most people about their favorite movie, and they can usually recite the last line to you. But hardly anyone ever remembers a movie's first line, how it all starts, where the fun truly begins. A heart is a fragile thing. That's why we protect them so vigorously, give them away so rarely, and why it means so much when we do. Some hearts are more fragile than others. Purer, somehow. Like crystal in a world of glass, even the way they shatter is beautiful.   It’s taken me a long time to accept the fact that the fantasy I had in my head all that time isn’t going to happen.  But it isn’t.  I need to move on.   And for the first time in a long time, I actually want to.  And that’s because of you.   All you can do is be there when she comes home with a problem whether it’s a skinned knee or a broken heart.   It’s amazing to me it’s even possible,  that the heart should recover.  Because right now it shouldn’t be possible.   I love how you tell me you want to kiss in the rain. And how I actually check the weather...   im out here, shaking and shivering waiting for you to tell me its okay that i still havent let go.   i`m trying REALLY HARD not to cry over youu because every tear is just another reminder of how I don`t know how to let go..   -»They say were too young to know what true love is but I say that we are capable of loving each other as much as we know how. «-   [s0metiimEes] -- all a girl needs iSs a boy to h0ld her hand. <33   G0od_byEs huRt mOre thaN anyThing esPeciaLly when deEp dOwn yOu yOu wiLl nEver saY heLlO agaIn- -x3   So often i look into the mirror ` tryin to find somethin beautiful; but all i see is [ me ]   when you feel like giving up on someone… remember why you held on for so long.   There are moments in my life that I will always remember, not cuz they were important, just because they [ w e r e  w i t h  y o u . ]   when  y o u  get lonely just* Look at the spaces between` your fingers____ & remember that`s where mine fit perfectly   Empty diaries, there is nothing to say.  *] I dont know what it is I am feeling today. I am in way over my head people say, -*] But I wont listen. In a way im scared.   *] Cuz he doesnt know me, but he looks  my way every now and then. Empty diaries,_ there is nothing to say, teenage romance *[   I t ` s   h e a d i n g   m y   w a y…   ]* im so tired of pretending everything is okay my tears are starting to [[show]] and my smile is slowly --» f a d i n g a w a y   i wanna be that qirl he`s scared to lose the one where he [ can`t ] walk away from knowinq shes mad at him, the one who can`t fall asleep without her voice beinq the last one he hears the one he wouldn`t know what to do without ..   I dont want to have to pay for this just another heartache on my lips We said our goodbyes, Swore we would stay in touch. Then we went our separate ways, Knowing no one ever does. If I knew then what I do now, I probably would of still fallen for you any how.*   but lately when she looked at him he'd always look away and sometimes when she wanted him he could never stay so one day she got up courage and called him up that night she asked him to be truthful he said he wouldnt lie but when called and said do you love me the other line went silent, she said i guess i know the answer he continued to be quiet.   I love it when I can feel you smiling when you kiss me ♥ In a thousand ways & a thousand hidden places. You have touched my heart & that feeling never changes ♥ And all she really wants is someone who will catch her when she falls . . Someone to realize her worth and hold her hand for no reason at all. . Someone who will sit with her under the stars and not want anything more . . Look her in the eyes and say "your the one I`ve been waiting for"..   Eventually everything falls together perfectly     & its incredible. Its those moments that         make growing up worth it ♥ Cause i wanna grow old with you and i want you to hold me forever♥ Let's just keep on dreaming      It doesn't cost a thing …& SOMETiMES I wish he could just walk right up to me & kiss me without a care in the WORLD. if you look in my eyes & listen to what I say.. you`ll know i`m the ONE GiRL » who`ll never walk away « My friends all call me Cinderella. I guess I always run away at midnight. But I don't want to anymore. Please tell my Fairy God Mother: I want to believe in love   Love's a matter of trust And I just want to believe in us But last night in your kiss I felt a lie on your lips♥   Someday i won't be lost Someday i won't miss you Someday i'll understand      But for now you're taking over me ♥ In every girl's life, there is a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.♥      You know you're in love when you can say anything to the person and you know they won't laugh at you. When you can see their face when you close your eyes. When you can still feel their arms around you holding you tight long after they are gone. When you can still taste their kiss after you have said good-bye. You can tell you're in love when you miss them before they are gone. When their voice lingers in your ears. When their presence eases any pain. When their name sends chills down your spine. When they are the only thing you can think about. You know you're in love when you can see all their hopes and dreams and their soul when you look into their eyes. When they call you at four in the morning and say, "I love you" and mean it. When your tears stain not only their shirt, but also their heart. When they are hurt just because of these tears. When even a simple chore done with them can become a lasting memory. Ultimately, you know you're in love when you can't imagine living without them, and can't figure, how did you live before you knew them. When they fulfill every need and without them you are incomplete. The love of someone else completes the heart, and soul, and mind all at once.   POST (0)

[Thursday, April 14th, 2005] [ mood | loved ] [ music | We still ] This is your truley....JOZEF SCHMITT! brittany geuss what...I LOVE YOU SO FUCKIN MUCH! i wish you were here next to me but you are NOT!...lol well im gonna go to bed...sweet dreams and good night.. POST (0)

Tell Me What`s On Your Mind..* [Thursday, April 14th, 2005] [ mood | SuPeR bOrEd..* ] [ music | ** I Can Read You Mind ** Avant ] What if .... » I died: » I said I liked you: » I kissed you: » I lived next door to you: » I started smoking: » I stole something: » I was hospitalized: » I ran away from home: » I got into a fight and you weren't there: What do you think about my: » Personality: » Eyes: » Face: » Hair: » Clothes: » Mannerisms: [1] Who are you? [2] Are we friends? [3] When and how did we meet? [4] How have I affected you? [5] What do you think of me? [6] What's the fondest memory you have of me? [7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies? [8] Do you love me? [9] Have I ever hurt you? [10] Would you hug me? [11] Would you kiss me? [12] Would you adore me? [13] Are we close? [14] Emotionally, what stands out? [15] Do you wish I was cooler? [16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? [17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. [18] Am I loveable? [19] How long have you known me? [20] Describe me in one word. [21] What was your first impression? [22] Do you still think that way about me now? [23] What do you think my weakness is? [24] Do you think I'll get married? [25] What about me makes you happy? [26] What about me makes you sad? [27] What reminds you of me? [28] What's something you would change about me? [29] How well do you know me? [30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? [31] Do you think I would kill someone? [32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? How about you show me you love me and comment on this.  And then I'll think about adding you to my friends list.  Okay?  Later.                              xOx Brittany Ann Schmitt xOx READ POST (2)

** JuSt SoMe MoRe Qu0t3s ** [Friday, April 8th, 2005] [ mood | chilly ..* ] [ music | ** First Time ** Lil Corey ] I wanna say______________I ` m sorry I want you to know that I______care I wanna say im blind for_____seeing something that wasnt there___(xox) I shouldve been more______trusting ______and   { listened }  to my heart Cuz you  re the only thing I___need ___and its tearing me apart____x|3            one day you look at a person and see        more than you did the day before like-        .a   switch was just flicked somewhere        and  that person who was just a friend        __is suddenly the only person you can        -:- [ i m a g i n e ] yourself being with_|     _______I ve spent years building this complex series of booby traps so that nobody would ever get too. . . . close  and then you came  along with that big beating //  heart of yours and broke   |||    all those walls down _________and its just really scary. What if I lose you?     |||   The worst feeling  in the world   ||||| __is loving someone when they dont_. (xo) love you back.    Your heart aches '  each time you see him and no matter ___how deep you look into his eyes....  - you'll never   reach  his heart –  «33     We cant be together  you deserve    someone so. --- much better than me, and you know it     and it kills me that you know it. I can t handle being_|||||| in a relationship ... constantly   scared that you  re {{going to find that someone who you deserve    }}     " You said , ' You know what your problem is ? ' and I replied,  ' Yes, I do. I fell in love with the__. idea that no` matter what happened you' would always be there.' . ' When haven't I? ' you asked.. & as a tear trickled down my cheek I seid, ' Ever---- __ since the day' she walked through that door.           ¦ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯¦ | i know i made a lot of mistakes  |  ((¨`v´¨))    | disapointments &failures`*        |     `·.¸.·´                    ¦_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _`¦¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯  ¦           ¦    .but i promise you  there's a  part of             ¦           ¦     of me that is actually worth keeping             ¦           ¦_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _¦                "our scars have the power to                remind us that the past was real"   dont think you understand how hard it is to talk to you as * just a friend * i wanna tell yu how muCh you mean *`'- to me but i just never can «|33     When you think about him, you start to cry, when he gets online your tummy gets that feeling and your heart beats ten times faster, when you see him you smile without even knowing it. that means there’s something that wont let you give up.          && i promise to remain the same chick that   you fell inlove with . .   everytime i see you i want nothing more than to throw my arms around u like i used to, but this time i wouldnt let go   You sit there and smile at me and I wonder if you’ve ever smiled like that at anyone else   if you want to make a move .. make it. if loving me is worth the risk .. take it.   i wait for the bus every morning; i wait for my classes to finish; i wait for my shifts to end at work; i wait for the weekend to arrive wait for supper to be ready; i wait for my birthday, for Christmas,for vacations, for everything. i wait, and i wait, and i wait constantly .. so it would be really great if i didn't have to wait for you, too. <33   i hate it when you leave    <3 but i love how you turn and smile as you walk out the door   when you said you loved me, were your fingers crossed?   so say you need me   like a bad habit <3   you stole everything my heart desired && now i want it back - -       <3   i will keep the . . rain from falling down into your ;; eyes i promise *     everyone cries . - - . everyone  weeps  ;; we all stay up late one night because we can't  go  to  sleep  `  tears  coming o u t ' thoughts   deep  in your head,   so you `' . sit  &  lay  there  &  cry  on  your  bed  you can't  help  bu t think  about  all  the  things you  had .  you  can't  help   but wonder ;; why  they  make  you  so  sad.  you can't help  to  think  where  did  you  go wronq. you  can't  help to  listen to your old song . you  can't  help to  think about  him day && night.  you  can't help   but wonder why  ;; this  match  isn't right.  so  you're   happy ` to see him.  it's been  a lonq time ;;  you're happy to see him & you don't know why *   when one door closes ;; another one opens && sometimes we look so long at the closed door we don't see the `' one that has - -   o p e n e d .       <|3       i want someone who will day dream about me in class ;; then the teacher will yell at him and tell him he needs to listen. he'll say hes sorry && then look at me . smile and whisper - - » i  love  you «33    Im not stupid I just lack common sense. Im not fat. I just have alot of curves. Im not miss popularity. I just have alot of friends. I don't ignore you. I just don't give a shit. Im not a bitch. Im just honest. I don't flirt alot. Im just overly friendly. Im not mean. I just have jokes. Im not insecure. I just don't trust people.       i could hold on a little tighter, i know. but when you love   someone, you gotta let them go . i'm going to smile 'cause   i want to make you happy , laugh so you can't see me cry .   i'm gonna let you go in style &even if it kills me ,             i'm gonna smile.   im sick of all that fairy tale ending crap its all a joke . theres no prince charming no magic grandmother , nothing t0 makE all your wishes come true .. so why don't we just end it all now &* save all of thiS thE pAiiN tHaT wEe aLwAysZ g0o tHrU in case you were wondering you are everything to me Its amazing how after all we've been thru you can still put the b i g g e s t smile on mi face   Shes just a typical teenage girl angry, insecure, confused, She wants you to tell her things will be okay, but she hates to be lied to     When you say I'm beautiful I say "yeah right," but what im really saying is "do you really think so?" When you say good job i say "thanks" but what Im really saying is "I love that you notice." When you say we'll be together forever I say "I hope so" but what im really saying is "I hope forever never ends." When you say I love you I say "I love you too" but what Im really saying is "never stop saying that." When you say that I dont care I say "yes I do" but what Im really saying is "I care for you more than you'll ever know."   |[hearing y0ur name the mem0riez c0me]| back again. . I remember when it started happening*.. I`d see y0u in every th0uqht I had and then the th0uqhtz sl0wly f0und w0rdz attached 2them...n I knew as they :e s c a P E d: away ii was c0mmitinq myself t0 them.. and everyday I reqRet th0se thins..but n0w I see that I t0oK |[what ii hated and made it a part 0f me]| all thats left for me to do is sit and cry i think about you, what little time we shared.. but atleast we had some good times ; so please.. whatever you do .. always remember im gona always love you if i knew it'd be the last time id really TALK to you .. i would have told you how i REALLY felt .. that you made me smile, the only thing that COULD make .. me smile ; when i was so down.. when i had nobody else to turn too .. you we're the one that i could just talk to and it was like ::instant:: happiness .. if i had known it was our last kiss i would have been more passionate ; i had known it was the last time i would see you ass *mine* i wouldnt have drove off angry .. if i had known it was the last time you smiled that way at me.. i would have to run back to you & hug you; just to get the last scent of your cologne.. the last love of your embrace.. i wish i had known .. <3   remember what they told you and you repeated to me "shes gona be so much better" `she'll make you so happy` "shes the one for you, you can just tell" `she seems like such a nice girl` (( hmph )) so much for being nice .. now nice doesnt get you anywhere guys dont want nice ; they //3 -want- what they *cant* havee.   how could you even ask if we could be friends how could you even ASK if i hated you ... *<3 you know as well as i do all the obvious answers ;; you assume no we cant be friends, yes i hate you* the sad truth is yes we can still be friends and no i could  _ (( n e v e r )) _ hate youu </33                 READ POST (6)

** I dOn`T hAvE aNyThInG bEtTeR tO dO sO ** [Friday, April 8th, 2005] [ mood | SuPeR bOrEd ] [ music | ** All My Life ** K-Ci & JoJo ] ** No More** 3LW I`m getting a little tired Of your broken promises, promises Lookin` at your pager Seein` different numbers, numbers Call you on your cell You`re hangin` with the fellas, fellas Hangin` with my girls You always gettin` jealous, jealous I was with you when You didn`t have no dollas, no dollas Hangin` at the crib Chillin` with your momma, your momma Never fronted you Never brought the drama, the drama Now you flip the script Playa, please No, I`m not the one (Say it again, say it again, oh) No, I`m not the one (You do or you don't) You do or you don`t, don`t You will or you won`t, won`t No more No more, baby I`ma do right You can or you can`t, can`t Be a man, be a man, man No more No more, baby I`ma do right You treat me like a lady When you open doors, doors But then you wanna front When you`re with your boys, your boys How you gonna play me When I bought your clothes, your clothes The ones that you be wearin` When you with your hoes, your hoes I know you never thought That I would have the nerve, the nerve Think about it more Since you at the curb, the curb Blowin` up my pager Say you want a chance, a chance Listen when I say Playa, please You do or you don`t, don`t You will or you won`t, won`t No more No more, baby I`ma do right You can or you can`t, can`t Be a man, be a man, man No more No more, baby I`ma do right No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) I just wanna know What happened to our love We used to be best friends Where did it go wrong When you gonna see How good it is with me I`m tired and I`m through With all your "listen baby" Listen what, playa chill now Tell me how you gon` cite me when I found out Honey gotta break it down, down I said it ain`t no thing Girl, what`s my name? Keelay, Keelay Look me in the face and tell me What the dealie, dealie Oh, you wanna go shade now But I`m paid now, I know that you hate that Oh, you got the one now, you warm now Cuz you thought you`d come right back, save that You could do whatever to me, and be together with me Like you do better than me (you do or you don`t) No more, never for me You do or you don`t, don`t You will or you won`t, won`t No more No more, baby I`ma do right You can or you can`t, can`t Be a man, be a man, man No more No more, baby I`ma do right No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right) No, I`m not the one (Baby, I`ma do right, do right)3LW No, I`m not the one (Say it again, s-say it, say it again) No, I`m not the one (Say it again, s-say it, say it again) No, I`m not the one (I could do bad all by myself) No, I`m not the one (I`m not the one, the one) You do or you don`t, don`t You will or you won`t, won`t No more No more, baby I`ma do right You can or you can`t, can`t Be a man, be a man, man No more No more, baby I`ma do right **Neva Get Enuf** 3LW feat. Lil` Wayne 3L and Wayne, what up Listen, I`m way better than that chump Sorry `cause I let her get her stuff `Cause she shiftin' with a brother who could never get enough of her I`d go tough for her, could never do enough for her Mad love for her, mad thoughts of her Days and days again And I`m like Rocky, where's my Adrianne Now holler back Sweethearts bounce if you feel me Little women love, little me never get enough Why every time I meet a guy who wants to try To get my mathematics I deny He wants to take me home, he`s out of his mind Will I ever meet someone for me He`s gotta be the one That I`m daydreaming to spend my time with He`s gotta be the one With no chicks attached and that`s my man To all my girls that dream know what I`m talkin` `bout The ones that makes us cling to the thoughts of love He`s so fresh, he`s so clean, yes, I call and he calls me too That`s why he`s bad, my place, his pad, I could never get enough I, I`m so glad I came across this kind of guy He didn`t ask me for my number, I thought why Then when I got the chance and now he`s gentle inside Now he`s the one that`s got me open wide He`s gotta be the one That I`m daydreaming to spend my time with He`s gotta be the one With no chicks attached and that`s my man To all my girls that dream know what I`m talkin` `bout The ones that makes us cling to the thoughts of love He`s so fresh, he`s so clean, yes, I call and he calls me too That`s why he`s bad, my place, his pad, I could never get enough Mom, I stop to holler, not to bother If you busy I`ll wait out for hours I`mma stick my wait out all the way out for hours What you know `bout bein` hot for hours and not from showers, shh... Not yet though, how `bout some flowers How `bout we hop the wild one, knock out some lobster I could make your problems easy , stop jabbin` and slabbin` Weezy never get enough To all my girls that dream know what I`m talkin` `bout The ones that makes us cling to the thoughts of love He`s so fresh, he`s so clean, yes, I call and he calls me too That`s why he`s bad, my place, his pad, I could never get enough To all my girls that dream know what I`m talkin` `bout The ones that makes us cling to the thoughts of love He`s so fresh, he`s so clean, when I call him he calls me too That`s why he`s bad, my place, his pad, I could never get enough ** Ain`t No Maybe ** 3LW This ain`t no maybe, baby Today is my day that I know fo sho Gotta speak first, gotta let you know In case you`re wondering if I`m available If you think that I am , I am and if Something`s on your mind, you should let it off I got time, maybe we should talk It`s no coincidence when you`re caught off guard You and me supposed to be baby... I`m not trippin on your car or where you live It don`t matter if your broke, we`ll be struggling What I`m saying is that I will be your baby This ain`t no maybe Ain`t tryna get my thoughts all in your way I don`t even want your chippers You`re the one I wanna kick it with This ain`t no maybe, is you feeling me You`ll have to pardon if I come on strong It`s just that you got everything I want It`s your character, the way you be It`s so intriguing to me baby I like your braids and your thug appeal Keep it real How`s about me and you on the low, what the deal Baby in case you haven`t noticed Without you boy I`m so hopeless I ain`t trippin on your car or where you live It don`t matter if your broke, we`ll be struggling What I`m saying is that I will be your baby This ain`t no maybe Ain`t tryna get my thoughts all in your way I don`t even want your chippers You`re the one I wanna kick it with This ain`t no maybe, is you feeling me You make me weak in the knees I can`t sleep, I can`t eat I cant even think baby Can`t even concentrate I can`t even think straight See you need a lady Hey boy I wanna be your lady Let me be your baby I know that I`m the one for you Boy don`t you know I ain`t trippin on your car or where you live It don`t matter if your broke, we`ll be struggling What I`m saying is that I will be your baby This ain`t no maybe Ain`t tryna get my thoughts all in your way I don`t even want your chippers You`re the one I wanna kick it with This ain`t no maybe, is you feeling me I wanna be your lady No actin shady And I put that on everything I wanna be your lady No actin shady cuz I`m your baby And I put that on everything, everything... Wow. I am bored out of my mind. I`ll write some later tonight because I have to get off now. I`m supposed to be babysitting so. Leave me some comments to make my friends cut on my new livejournal. Lotz of love kidies! x O x B r i t t a n y A n n S c h m i t t x O x POST (0)

** Dear Jozef ... ** [Thursday, April 7th, 2005] [ mood | confused .. * ] [ music | ** Lovers And Friends ** Lil Jon, Usher, Luda ] Jozef Stanley Schmitt,         Okay I know that you are really pissed at me right now.  And I am aware that you probably hate me and want absolutly nothing to do with me but I just want to let you know that I am sorry.  It`s just that you have been getting super pissed at me all day for the stupidest little shit and I just don`t understand why.  I just didn`t want to have to put up with that anymore today.  We have been fightling a lot more than usual lately if you haven`t noticed and I hate it.  I hate it more than anything in this world but you just don`t seem to understand that.  And what you were doing after school just pissed me off because if you didn`t notice I`m not worth any of that shit.  I`m not!  I`m not!  I`m not!  I just don`t understand why you think I am.  After everything I put you through, all the bull shit and everything, you still say that I am worth it.  Well to tell you the truth, I ain't worth one second of it.  None of it is worth it.  Expecially if its me.  But whatever.  I just want you to know that I love you.  I will always love you ... no matter what.  After all the shit and drama.  I`ll stay by your side.  No matter what.  But you have to understand this too.  You can`t get mad at me for spending time with Becky and my other friends.  You have to remember that you aren`t the only person in my life.  You are probably the most important one but you are the only one.  Don`t get me wrong I love you to death and I love spending time with you but I do have to spend time with Becky and my other friends once in a while.  Sorry for fucking up your life once again.  I never meant to hurt you in all the ways that I have.  And like you`ve said I don`t have any of your trust anymore so tell me what the point even is.  I don`t understand that part.  Would you please explain it to me because I don`t understand one bit of it?  But whatever.  If you want me out of your life I guess that`s just what you`ll get.  All you have to do is say it and I`ll be gone.  I`ll leave you alone for good.  And I am almost positive thats what you want so.  I just want you to know that I love you.  I always have and I always will, whether I am a part of your life or not.  I just want to know if you do anymore.  Because it sure as hell feels like you don`t give a fuck.  So yea ... whatever ... I don`t care about anything once again.  I love you.  Bye.                                                      </3, Fuck Up                                    I wanna say      i m             sorry                               I want you to know that i care ||||                               I wanna say im blind for  seeing                               something that wasnt there xox                               </3 shouldve been more trusting                               ____ and { listened } to my heart                               Cuz you  re the only thing i need                               ___  and its tearing me apart  x|3       The girl Who Seemed unbrakable -    [[ broke ]]   the girl who seemed so strong - [[ crumbled ]] The Girl Always Laughed it Off -      [[ Cried ]] lxl the girl who Never gave Up finally ___ [[ Quit ]]  *                                                                            I hope you know that I actually care ..* POST (0)

** I mAdE a NeW oNe ** [Wednesday, April 6th, 2005] [ mood | calm ] [ music | ** O ** Omarion ] okay so now i made a new live journal. the username is xO_Beautiful_45 this one is going to be friend ONLY so if you want to be included in it you better start commenting now. if not your out of luck. leave me some or consider yourself lost. lotz of love. laters. xOx Brittany Ann Schmitt xOx Jozef I love you so much baby! Together forever sexy! READ POST (2)

[Wednesday, April 6th, 2005] [ mood | bored ] [ music | ** First Time ** Lil Corey ] hmmm ... i havent updated in a while. i'm thinking of making a new live journal that will be friends only. so if you want to be a part of it you better start commenting or your not gonna be included. so you better start commenting or your out. i'll still keep this one up but this will probably be quotes only. so yea. comment comment comment if you want in. laterz. xOx Brittany xOx READ POST (1)

[Saturday, April 2nd, 2005] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | ** Anytime ** Brian McKnight ] i don`t believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now.   when girls are quiet, millions of things are running through their minds. when girls are not arguing, they are thinking deeply. when girls look stairngly at you, they are wondering how long you'll be around. when girls answer 'i'm fine' after a few seconds, they are not at all fine. when girls stare at you, they are wondering whether you are lying or not. when girls lay their head on your chest, they are wishing for you to be theirs forever.. when girls want to see you everyday, they want to be loved by you. when girls say 'i love you', they mean it. and when girls say they miss you ... no one in this world can miss you more than they do. you will always be one of my favorite memories.               he said i know this will hurt           but if i don't break your heart                   things will just get worse   so take a good look at my face you'll see my smile looks a little out of place             Sometimes, not too often but sometimes I get hit with a memory of how much you meant to me. Just when I thought I was finally okay with forgetting...   Heaven`s not a place you go to when you die It`s that moment in life when you actually feel alive       Your best male friend will always love you, admire you, and will feel that way forever. Boyfriends come and go, but he`s always stuck around. He`s your shoulder to cry on, and a hug when you need it.  You enjoy yourself with him, and there`s never an awkward situation. This is a different kind of love, a special kind. Cherish this man forever; he`s changed your life.     They say I`m a bitch & that I`m moody But what they don`t see is that it`s just a wall protecting myself from getting hurt.   Three things in life that should never be broken:                  toys, promises & hearts.           I`m \b/r\o/k\e/n\ but u better           believe I`m    N  O  T    destroyed. But you cannot know my hurt, to know what it feels like when you want something so bad but you know you can`t find it. I want everything to make sense when I look into his eyes; that`s my perfect kind of guy.   Sometimes, you won't let go of love. Sometimes love won't let go of you.   Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’     when things were rough you were the only one there for  me & now everything i do :: i do it for you..          SO  LET'S LEAVE ALL THE WINDOWS  OPEN   TONIGHT        LEAVE US NO CHOICE BUT TO  CUDDLE CLOSE      «33   `*..·´¯`·» Its  gone before you  know it                  you cant let go of something                  you            Never           had   When it goes this d e e p And feels this strong I can't convince myself That this love is wrong.       see my reflection in the blade ; watch the years being to fade. feel a tear run down my face, I really hate this fuckin place. it hurts to think of happy times ; not many come to mind. hide the pain from deep within, feel the metal touch my skin. slit the lifelines, blood runs red, in awhile I`ll be dead. feel the presence of grim reaper as I get dizzy .. and a little weaker..     do you ever just wish you could  h e a r  the siren `s of  the    ambulance .... wake  up  in the e m e r g e n c y r o o m ....  and hear the doctor `s  say    *she isn`t going to make it* just   so  you  could  find   out   who   really c   a   r   e  `  s       a  b  o  u  t        y  o  u  ?       READ POST (5)

** JuSt SoMe Qu0t3s ** [Saturday, April 2nd, 2005] [ mood | un - amused ] [ music | ** Burn ** Usher ] walking down the hall with her head held high.. every hair is in its place .. sees a friend & she waves hi, wearing a smile on her perfect face.  friendly, smart, &  beautiful, everyone adores  this girl seemingly content her heads in a whirl inside she's unhappy, and doesnt kno why, she lays in her bed at night and cries.  she  doesnt know  what  causes  the tears;  how could this princess have insecurities or fears?  She has it all: a  pretty smile,  many  friends, a great guy  the newest trends,  her family has money, she gets  good  grades,  has  her own car, and her makeup dont fade. always looking happy every single day,  but  inside she's feeling a different  way. this wonder girl, she's everyone's dream,  but  things  are  not  always  what  they seem.                                         don't you just wish you could                                      go back to the best memory                                      of your life and live it forever     I Want A Man Like Avant Who Can Read My Mind I Want A Man Like Chingy Who`s One Call Away I Want A Man Like Ja Rule Who`ll Be On Time Always I Want A Man Like Ginuwine Who`ll Love Me More I Want A Man Like Joe Who`ll Give Me More & More I Want A Man Like Fabolous Who`ll Trade It All I Want A Man Like Bow Wow Who Likes Basketball I Want A Man Like Fred Who`ll Beat Em Down Wit A Baseball Bat I Want A Man Like Jagged Edge Who`ll Know Where The Party At I Want A Man Like Nick Cannon Who`s Feelin Freaky I Want A Man Like Murphy Lee Who`ll Luv Me Baby I Want A Man Like R. Kelly Who`ll Never Leave I Want A Man Like 50 Cent Who`ll Wait Patiently... dO  yOu  eveR  juSt  GeT  thaT   - FeeLinG -  WheRe u  don't WanT  tO __  talK  tO  `'*'` Anybody  yOu  don't  wAnT  To [= smile =]  And  yOu Don't  want  to Fake beIng haPpy -  But at  the [s.a.m.e  t.i.m.e.]  yOu  don`t  know  exactly  what  Is - wrong  eIther  there  Isn`t  a  waY to  Explain it To someone who  *  doesn`t  already  understand  -  iF  yOu  could  wAnt anything  in the  world it  would be to  be alone  peoPle  have stopped being `' *  c o m f o r t i n g  and  beinG alone neveR was- At least when you're alone. No one ConsTantly asKs you *:. what is wrong ? and there Isnt  anyone  Who  won't  Take "i dont kno" for an awswer' you feel the way yOu do Just -» b e c a u s e you hope the .feeling. will paSs  soon  aNd  That u`ll be able to be urself again but til then all u can do  is wait     .-´* stay close enough to have fun   `-.  yet far enough not to get hurt *   .-´   and when u start to fall for him  `-.   again, just remember the crack  .-´   inside your  heart  is from   him     well my life isnt perfect really whos is? but i guess i can say that one part of it is you make it worth living and you made me see youre the best part of life and the best part of me   if you look inside a girls heart youd see how much she really cries, youll find secrets [hidden] best friends, and liez but what youll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothins right and everything is *wrong*                                                                               for one second                                                                               your bleeding                                                                            wrist hurts more                                                                           than your bleeding                                                                        heart but is it worth it?      hands on the mirror       it  can ` t get much     c l e a r e r ... can ` t     m a k e  this  a l l  go     a w a y ... now that     you ` re     bleeding,    you   s t a r e   at the      ceiling and watch    as it all fades away.                                                           And she whispers into the                                                           mirror as she wipes the                                                         running eye liner from her                                                               eyes ... "i'm stupid"                      i know what its like to want to die                              how it hurts to smile                        how u try to fit in but u cant                     u hurt yourself on the outside                  n try to kill things on the inside       In the mirror is where she comes  Face to face with her fears Her own reflection  Now foreign to her after all these years All of her life she has tried  To be something besides herself Now time has passed And she's ended up with someone Else with regret What is it in us that makes us feel The need to keep pretending Gotta let ourselves be     sometimes i feel like no one cares sometimes i feel like no one is there sometimes i want to kill myself sometimes i think i need some help sometimes i feel like i'm alone sometimes i feel like i'm in an empty zone sometimes i feel like i'm not alive sometimes i feel like im deprived sometimes i think the world should end sometimes i think i have no friends sometimes i want to make them see sometimes i wish i wasnt me     They call her for dinner she makes up a reason. She looks at her arms and rolls down her sleeves. Her mother is starting to see through her lies.  Last night her father had tears in his eyes. They rise in the morning and they sleep in the dark.  And even though nobody`s looking she`s falling a p a r t ...                sO tHeres tHis boy ... Hes (everything)  ive ever            wanted hes not like the rest he completely takes            my breath away hes got me  _fallin for him_ xO POST (0)

** hAhAhAhAhA i LoVe It ** [Friday, April 1st, 2005] [ mood | Helk yes ... lalala ] [ music | Nothing...Not a thing. *tear* ] MiiSuNdErStOoD21: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii SlipknotsGOD1011: hey MiiSuNdErStOoD21: how are you SlipknotsGOD1011: good u SlipknotsGOD1011: are u still on the phone with joe??? MiiSuNdErStOoD21: mmm a WEE bit hyper MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  but im doing good SlipknotsGOD1011: oh MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  this is kaitlin by the way SlipknotsGOD1011: yea MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  are you mad at me SlipknotsGOD1011: no SlipknotsGOD1011: y MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  idk SlipknotsGOD1011: oh SlipknotsGOD1011: well im not MiiSuNdErStOoD21: you seemed like it on the phone SlipknotsGOD1011: oh SlipknotsGOD1011: im not MiiSuNdErStOoD21: cuz of my BETSY BELL thhingie SlipknotsGOD1011: yea SlipknotsGOD1011: lol SlipknotsGOD1011: wtf was that all about though MiiSuNdErStOoD21: uhm.. MiiSuNdErStOoD21: im a cow and bulls do cows up the ass SlipknotsGOD1011: so MiiSuNdErStOoD21: and they also eat a lot of grass MiiSuNdErStOoD21: and then they mooooo SlipknotsGOD1011: u want ppl to do u up the ass MiiSuNdErStOoD21: ...uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...duh MiiSuNdErStOoD21: only you though MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  lloll SlipknotsGOD1011: hte key word is ''PPL" MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  oh MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  well no MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  just a person MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  8bully MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  ****bull SlipknotsGOD1011: wat SlipknotsGOD1011: u want a bull to do u up hte ass SlipknotsGOD1011: ??? MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  just ONE special bull SlipknotsGOD1011: but i dont want a shit dick SlipknotsGOD1011: lol MiiSuNdErStOoD21:  lmao   Kaitlin - Tinkerbell is hot Brittany - what did you just say? Tinkerbell's hot? Kaitlin - no. I went Tinky in my winky!   Kaitlin - You got an 'A' Brittany - uhmm..YEA! What does 'A' stand for? A stands for apple. Kaitlin - No..'A' means applebible Brittany - What's that? Kaitlin - Uhmm...Whats that....Uhmm...A apple and a bible.   Brittany - You are SUCH a loser Kaitlin - NO! I'm Betsy Bell the Cow!!   OMG!  Tonite was the best nite ever!  Time spent with Drake, Jozef and Brent.  Me and Kaitlin being super retarded. Yea it was really really fun. We umm. Had candy. HAH. Yes. And erm. Idk. Lol. It was just fun so HA YOU MISSED OUT! IN YOUR FACE! and above was the funniest times so far tonite. only MORE mORe more to come!  There were tons but umm ... our minds kinda went blank so.  Yea.  More laters.  We should be up like all nite!    <3 Brittany <3   comments would be loved since you know ... nobody ever comments.  i feel so unloved!  well by all my friends that read this at least!  *tear* *tear*  = ( READ POST (6)

[Thursday, March 31st, 2005] [ mood | NERDY!!!!!!!!!!! ] [ music | nothing at the moment ]              HAPPY          BIRTHDAY            TREVOR!   Today is Trevor`s birthday guys!  I bet you didn`t know that now did you!?  Hahaha!  I`ll write more later I guess.  Bye!   <3 Brittany <3                             <3 Kaitlin <3 POST (0)

** MoRe Qu0t3s ** [Wednesday, March 30th, 2005] [ mood | still depressed ] [ music | nothing at the moment ]  ...ThEy SaY tHeRe Is a R e A s O n... ...ThEy SaY tHaT TiMe WiLL h E a L... ...bUt NeiThEr [ .T.i.M.e. .N.o.R. .r.E.a.S.o.N. ]... ...cAn ChAnGe ThE wAy I fEeL... ...nO oNe KnOwS tHe HeArTaChE... ...ThAt .H.i.D.e.S. bEhiNd My SmiLe... ...No OnE kNoWs HoW mAnY tiMeS... ...iVe BrOkEn DoWn AnD cRiEd... ...I wAnT tO tELL u SoMeThiNg... ...So ThErE wOnT bE aNy (( DoUbT ))... ...yOuRe So WoNdErFul tO tHiNk Of... ...BuT sO h A r D tO LiVe WiThOuT...                         This is for the night you realized that it would never happen,                     and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep       READ POST (1)

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